“Well f*ck.” Nina sighed as she looked around. Lindsay had threatened it, and had finally made good on their promise to throw her things out of their flat, and now everything that Nina owned was on the pavement. Clothes, towels, dishes, family heirlooms… it didn’t seem to matter. It was all there, her entire life in a disorganised mess on the ground.
She called, texted, and banged on the door. No answer from Lindsay. After a humiliating and exhausting hour of theatrics on the street in front of the building, under the prying eyes of her, now, former neighbours, she collapsed on the steps with her head in her hands and shoulders shaking. After some time her mind began to work properly again. She needed to get her belongings off of the pavement and to Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death, and right now, she certainly was not in the mood for coffee. Through blurry eyes she pulled out her mobile and dialled the only person she knew with a car.
“Wot do you want?” A gruff voice boomed through the speaker on her mobile.
“You gave me your number… I need a favour.” Nina’s voice was horse and cracked as she spoke.
“Are you alright?” The voice softened more than Nina had expected.
“Yea… I mean… no. No I’m bloody well not. Lindsay… she… she threw my sh*t out. She told me she would, but I didn’t believe her. I don’t have a way to bring it back to the shop.”
There was a short silence on the other end of the line, followed by, “So… why are you callin’ me?”
“Well, Mr. Six-Shots-Daily-Who-Hasn’t-Paid-For-A-Single-One… you are the only bloke I know with a car….and I rather thought…”
“Alright, alright.” He interrupted. “I know what you’re gettin’ at. I’ll be right there.”
“Don’t you need the address?” Nina looked down at her mobile only to see that Crowley had already hung up.
She didn’t bother to text the address.
Six minutes after the call ended the mobile the Bentley skidded to a stop in front of Nina on the street. Nina had seen Crowley sitting in his Bentley in front of the bookshop just before she left. He had been there nearly every day since Mr. Fell had left, sulking with his plants in his Bentley. When she had left the coffee shop earlier that day, he had been there. She wondered for a moment how he had managed to get to her so quickly. It took twenty minutes to bicycle to get from the coffee shop to her (former) flat by bicycle and eleven minutes by car, even on a good day. The window rolled down and those dark glasses and ruby hair poked themselves out the window, and she was reminded that he was a demon.
“Oi. Need a lift?” He flashed a sympathetic half-smile at her.
“Yea. D’ya have room in the trunk for my stuff?” She had gathered her belongings and haphazardly stuffed clothes and the knicknacks that were not broken into bags.
Crowley snapped his fingers before answering. “M’ sure we’ll make due.”
Nina was still sitting on the curb, so he stepped out of the Bentley and reached a hand down to help her to her feet. Together, they picked up her belongings that were stuffed in duffle bags and wrapped haphazardly in bedsheets. Crowley picked up the broken nicknacks and trinkets off the pavement, and as he did they were suddenly mended. He placed them carefully into Nina’s bag with her pictures and books as she watched with eyes wide. Miraculously everything fit into the trunk of the Bentley with ease. Crowley closed it and placed his hand gently on Nina’s shoulder. She looked over at him blankly and nodded.
“Time to blow this joint?” He asked.
Nina looked up at the window where she knew Lindsay was, watching her coldly the entire time. She took a deep breath.
“Time to blow this joint.” She said, with as much strength and resolution as she could muster.
Crowley followed her to the passenger side of the Bentley and opened the door for her. She was not sure what to think. No one had opened a door for her in over a decade. She stood frozen in place, staring at the seat.
“Would you like a ride or not?” Crowley said impatiently.
“Yes… sorry, thank you.” Nina stammered as she got into the car and Crowley closed the door. He walked around the front and patted the hood before folding his lanky figure into the car. Nina did not see him turn a key to start the engine, but the moment he sat down the car roared to life and All Dead, All Dead came on the radio.
“Mr. Six-Shots is also Mr. Old Fashioned.” She smiled over at him.
Crowley did not say anything, but that same sympathetic grin crawled along the side of his lips.
“Wot do ya’ say we go get a drink?” He asked as they sped off, going far too fast for busy London streets.
Nina was gripping the leather of the seat as they weaved in and out of traffic, nearly hitting pedestrians and not even slowing down for signals that were miraculously green milliseconds before they flew through the intersections.
“I’m not really in the mood for any pubs nearby. Too many memories…” She sighed.
Crowley nodded.
“I know wotcha mean. This entire stinking, spinning rock holds my memories.” He mumbled under his breath, but Nina heard every word. She had watched as Crowley spent time in and out of the bookshop since he left. He had coached Muriel on the day to day activities of the bookshop and how to fit in. Even if he spent his days in the shop, he always slept out front in his Bentley with his plants. He never moved them in.
She looked over at him again, seeing his jaw tightly clenched and the lines beside his eyes grow deep and long enough to see beneath the temple of his Valentinos. There was no hiding that he was hurting too. He wore it on his face and in his posture. His shoulders were so tense that his back hunched as they nearly reached his ears. The saunter that he had been known for on Whickber street had disappeared as abruptly as Aziraphale had. He no longer strutted across the street from the bookshop to the coffee shop or the pub, but walked slowly with his head down and hands in his pockets. All of the shopkeepers had noticed. Ms. Sandwich had tried to take him in, telling him he could stay in one of her rooms.
“The girls all love ya’ deary, and we already posted a bloody sign sayin’ that you don’t work ‘ere. I could simply take it down, ya know.”
Crowley had thanked her for the offer but as politely as he could, he declined.
Maggie spent a great deal of time at the bookshop with Crowley and Muriel. The record shop only had a few customers each day, and Crowley had refused to collect any rent from her.
“Where he went there is no use for your bloody money.” Crowley would say as he tore up her cheques. To quell her guilt, she spent as much time as she could helping Muriel with the bookshop. This gave her a great deal of time to chat with Crowley about what had happened, all of which she regularly disclosed to Nina when she came over to help close up her shop each night as they stacked chairs and washed mugs.
“So, Crowley confessed his six-thousand year love for Mr. Fell, kissed him, and the wanker left anyway?” NIna nearly dropped the container of almond milk that she was putting back into the refrigerator.
“Yep. That’s what Mr. Crowley said. He is a right mess about it too. He pretends not to be, but it's plain to see that his heart is broken.” Maggie was on the verge of tears as she watched Nina’s face fall. Maggie knew that things with Nina’s partner were rocky, but she never wanted to pry. She had secretly hoped that they would break up, somewhat selfishly for her sake, but mostly for Nina’s sake. She knew that Nina had been miserable for years.
Nina realised that she had been staring at Crowley for a bit too long when she noticed his eyes glance over at her.
“So, if we are plannin’ on travelin’ to get a drink, where would you like to go? Where have you always wanted to go?” He asked as “These Are The Days of Our Lives” played on the radio.
“What do ya mean? Like, in London?” Nina co*cked her head.
“No. You know what I mean. Where in the world, Nina.” Crowley’s voice was soft but serious.
Nina paused for a moment and thought. She had always wanted to see Tibet, or maybe America. There was always South America or Africa where her coffee beans came from. She must have paused a moment too long because Crowley growled impatiently.
“Hold your horses, I’m thinkin. What about you? Is there anywhere on this rock that you haven’t been?” She was truly curious.
Crowley thought for a moment and his mouth turned down before he spoke.
“I’ve been pretty much everywhere humans have touched, but the Angel never went to South America. Apparently evangelical colonialism satisfied Heaven’s hunger, regardless of the brutality brought with it.” He winced thinking about the atrocities that humans committed toward each other in Her name. He often got commendations for those acts. It made him sick to his stomach.
Nina could tell she needed to say something to change whatever subject was rolling around in Crowley’s mind. The way he was hissing through his teeth was indicative of something terrible going on in that Demonic brain of his. If it was horrific enough to make a literal Demon react that way, she was not the least bit interested in knowing what it was.
“Funny you should say that. I was just thinking that Columbia is where I get half of the coffee for the shop and I’ve never even thought about going there…”
Before Nina could finish her sentence something happened. Something she could not explain, and a wave of hot vertigo came over her and her vision blurred. She squeezed her eyes closed for a moment and when she opened them she gasped.
“Where are we?” She asked, eyes wide as she blinked, eyes fixed out the window where the scenery was anything but the streets of London.
There were similar buildings surrounding them as they drove the unfamiliar city, but in the distance she could see lush mountains, green fields, and as they pulled abruptly to park her head whipped around to see a large coliseum. The air was thick, warm and humid, and the smell of the city seemed sweeter, like less people and more like greenery.
Crowley got out of the car and sauntered around the front of the vehicle to open Nina’s door. Stone-faced he motioned for her to get out.
Nina crossed her arms in protest. “No! I am not f*cking leaving this car until you tell me what the bloody Hell just happened and where we are.”
Crowley put one hand on his hip and shifted his balance onto his back foot like a model on a runway.
“Columbia. I thought a coffee contessurer might appreciate accompanying me on a business trip.” He popped the P.
“What business does a Demon have in South America? And aren’t you retired?” She was cut off by Crowley turning on heel. She quickly pulled herself out of the car and the door closed, seemingly by itself, behind her and locked. She looked back for a moment but did not have time to think twice, and she rushed off to follow Crowley.
“Oi! Wait up! I can’t be left alone here, I don’t have my papers with me!” She called after him.
Crowley raised his hand and between his fingers was her passport.
“Where’d you…?”
“Grabbed it when I was picking up your personal items from the ground beneath your flat.” He stated plainly.
She took it from him, but was quite sure she had it tucked away in her purse, which was already safely at the coffee shop. She knew there was no sense questioning him. He was a Demon, of course he would lie.
They made their way to a cafe on the outskirts of the city-centre and had a seat.
““¿Quieres un tintico?” A waitress dressed in pressed-white cotton smiled as she spoke.
“Si por favor, el regular, y uno para la señora.” Crowley had spoken Spanish in the exact dialect as the waitress, and Nina could only smile and nod, trying not to seem impressed, surprised, or terrified. Luckily, Crowley ordered for her.
She took a sip of the espresso, closing her eyes to savour the deep chocolate aroma of the coffee.
“This really is wonderful, Crowley. Thank you.”
Crowley scoffed as he downed his six shots. Nina knew better than to ask why the waitress knew the Demon’s “regular” order.
“It's alright. The cartelles keep Hell off my back as long as I check in with them once and a while.” He nodded at some well-dressed gentlemen that were sitting at the table next to them. One walked over and dropped an envelope on the table in front of him.
Nina averted her eyes, trying to hide her terror.
“What kind of business trip did you bring me on! If you are bringing drugs back to England or something like that…”
Crowley laughed as he placed the envelope in the inner pocket of his blazer. (Was that tartan liner in his coat? Nina shook off the thought, she must have been mistaken, the Demon hated tartan.)
“Do you really think that humans need any help from Hell when it comes to substances? Don’t be silly. This is official business… much more diabolical than powdering one’s nose, Nina. Now come on, follow me.”
Nina was not sure what to think, but she did not want to be left in Columbia after being seen with someone who just took an envelope from a member of a cartelle where the waitress obviously knew who he was, so she hurried after him.
How does he walk so bloody fast when his hips don’t even follow his damned legs. She thought to herself as she struggled to keep up.
They abruptly stopped at a shop about three blocks away. Crowley opened the door and motioned for her to go in. The shop smelled wonderful and she quickly realised that it was a florist.
“What are we doing at a flower shop, Crowley?” She raised an eyebrow at him.
He looked at her over his Valentinos and his voice grew quiet and serious.
“Don’t ask questions and stay quiet, do you understand me?”
She nodded quickly. Official business from Hell was not something she was keen on understanding if she could help it. She stayed close to Crowley but admired the beautiful plants that hung with colourful macrame from the ceilings and the rich greens of the leaves from other flora.
Crowley walked up to the counter and took the envelope from his jacket pocket. (It was tartan liner in that jacket. Nina thought to herself.) He placed the envelope on the desk. The woman behind the counter looked at him expressionless and took the envelope. She nodded and motioned for Cowley to come with her.
“Stay here. I’ll be right back.” He placed his hand on Nina’s shoulder. She did not like the idea of the Demon being out of her sight, but she did not seem to have a choice as he went through the door to the back of the shop without speaking another word.
Several minutes went by and Nina began to worry.
What could be taking him so long.
She tapped her foot and leaned against the counter, her arms crossed. She realised she did not have any money with her, her pocketbook was still at the coffee shop back in SoHo. She had no way of returning home if the Demon decided to do something Demonic like leave her here. She felt her blood pressure rise as a few more minutes passed and as panic began to set in she started to pace. Just as she had made up her mind to walk through the door to go find that obviously-God-forsaken-Demon the door opened.
Crowley came through the threshold pushing a two wheeler that was piled high with sealed boxes. Set on the very top was an open box filled with exotic plants.
“Ready to go?” He said as he peered at her from around tall orchids and other mature plants that were obscuring his view as he pushed the two wheeler.
“What in the bloody Hell?” Nina asked.
“Wot? Deliveriessssss for Hell and a little something for my trouble.” He smiled as he ran his fingers up and down the leaves of the most verdant snake plant that Nina had ever seen.
They made their way back to the Bentley, Nina walking irritatedly with her arms crossed.
“The trunk is already full of my things, Crowley, where are you planning on putting…” He opened the back door of the Bently and miraculously the boxes fit perfectly on the back seat with the rest of his plants.
“You were saying?” Crowley asked as he opened the door for her.
“Nothing. I wasn’t saying anything.” She huffed as she got into the car.
Crowley sat down and the vehicle hummed to a start without him ever putting a key into the ignition, and “I’m Going Slightly Mad” by Queen came on the radio.
“Where are we off to next?” Nina asked.
“Have you ever been to the States?” Crowley asked her, nonchalantly.
“Well, no… but…” Nina was about to explain that her parents had gone to Florida when she was young but left her at home with her grandparents, but she did not get the chance. Crowley’s foot suddenly became made of lead and the Bentley’s tires skidded onto the street. The same strange feeling of hot dizziness came over Nina. She must have closed her eyes again, and when she opened them everything was different. The air felt the same, humid and hot, but the view outside the windshield had completely changed. This new city was not as clean, there was graffiti on the bridge walls and sides of buildings, and there was a lot more traffic.
“Where are we?” Nina asked as she looked out each window of the Bentley.
“Y’said somethin’ ‘bout Florida. Seemed like as good-a place as any.” He pulled off the I-95 and Nina looked out the window to see that the islands in the keys were covered end to end with buildings.
I never actually said anything out loud about Florida. Nina thought to herself, realising that she might need to be a bit more careful with her own thoughts while around a demon.
They passed a tent-city and a wave of sadness fell over her. It must have been visible on her face because Crowley placed a gentle hand on her knee.
“America isn’t all it's cracked up to be, kid.”
“Yea. Too many people and none of them care enough to take care of each other or to keep their things nice.”
Crowley grinned and let out a little chuckle.
“It’s ‘cuz its all too expensive. They either sell it, or are forced into poverty buyin’ it.”
Nina scowled at him.
“I s’pose that’s your side’s doing?”
He rocked his head back and forth.
“Little bit of both, actually.”
Nina figured it wasn’t worth asking any more about that rabbit hole of dogmatic information. They pulled onto a side street in front of another row of shops
“Do you always park on a street as similar as possible to the last?” She was not wrong, the street could have been the equivalent of the one in Botoga they had just left or Whickber.
“Are ya’ done complainin’? I’m showin’ you all the kingdoms of the world, aren’t I?”
Crowley got out of the Bentley before he could see Nina roll her eyes. He grabbed two boxes from the back seat before he opened the door for her. Just as she stood up a box was thrust into her arms.
“Here, make yourself useful.” Crowley barked at her, stacking a second box in her arms. She grunted but steadied the boxes in her arms. They were not very heavy, but certainly awkward and difficult to see around. The door to the Bentley closed behind her, again, seemingly by itself. She hurried to follow Crowley down the street to a Cafe. She could smell that they had a kitchen, and she was glad that they were going into a place that served food as she had not eaten, and even though their travels were mere seconds, her stomach could apparently sense that she had travelled a long way. They sat down at a table and Crowley looked around as though he was waiting for someone.
She ordered a cuban sandwich and “fries”, which were apparently the American version of “chips”. When she had asked for “chips” the waitress had pointed at a display of crisps that hung on the wall.
“She means ‘fried potatoes’” Crowley had said with an heir of condescension in his voice.
Nina had heard the waitress mumble under her breath “f*cking foreigners can’t even speak English right.”
“But I am bloody English!” Nina whispered to Crowley.
“Y’best be on your best behaviour ‘round here, miss.” He looked at her over his Valentinos.
“We be in Trump Country.” His voice dipped into a mocking American-southern-drawl.
Nina leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms.
“I recon it was you and your lot who mucked up the Bush/Gore recount and started this whole division business that led to the Trump and Johnson nightmare. Bloody isolationist, Brexit nonsense. It sounds like Hell is stamped all over it.”
Crowley pressed his hand to his chest and gasped. “You wound me, Nina!”
He took off his glasses, allowing his golden serpentine eyes to glare directly at her. “I will have you know that I personally had nothing to do with it. Mischief and temptation is the business of the Serpent of Eden. I leave the politics mambo-jumbo to Leviathan. That bloody wanker can have it. Humans bugger up that nonsense enough on their own, anyway. All we really do these days is sit back and watch the carnage.”
Nina’s eyes were fixed on Crowley’s until he replaced his sunglasses. He cleared his throat, realising that he had likely frightened her. Humans staring too long into his eyes was the way he was able to get them to do whatever he wanted. Temptation and coercion went hand-in-hand… and in his case, he held that power in his gaze.
“Hell doesn’t care how jobs get done. We plan complicated and strategic strikes to spread misery and panic among the humans, and just as we are about to put one into motion they come up with something themselves which is so much worse than anything we could have thought of.”
Nina shook her head, regaining her composure and shrugged as the waitress brought them their food. “Yea, sounds about right.”
They laughed as they continued to talk a bit too loudly about politics as they ate, drawing scowls and snickers from the other patrons sitting at the tables in the cafe. Crowley motioned to the man in the cut-off jean trousers and MAGA hat who was puffing up and looking as though he had sat on a bee when they talked about how politicians should have a vocabulary and couth beyond that of a ten year old boy.
“See? That there is the kind of discourse I enjoy. Make ‘em uncomfortable enough to cause a ruckus.” Crowley grinned.
Nina frowned.
“What if he is riled enough to go home and beat his wife and kids or something, Crowley.”
Crowley shrugged.
“Not my problem. Humans do what humans do. I told Eve the apple was the sweetest in the garden and would give her power. She’s the one that rushed off to take a bite and share it with her betrothed. She could’ve kept it to herself, could’ve said no. Free will is a funny thing.” He took the last gulp of his Jack Daniels and made a bitter face. They did not have Talisker. He was not pleased.
Nina stopped chewing. She never thought of it that way. Lindsay had made the choice to throw everything that she owned out onto the curb beneath their flat, but it was she that had chosen to stay with Lindsay for all these years, even though she knew they were not happy. Free will was a funny thing indeed.
When they were nearly finished with their meal a man in a suit with a two-wheeler walked up to the table. Crowley appeared to know him, because he stood and shook his hand. They exchanged no words, but the man handed Crowley an envelope and snatched up the boxes and loaded them onto the two-wheeler.
Crowley opened the envelope and pulled out a large stack of American dollars. He left a generous stack on the table and turned to Nina.
“Time to go.”
She patted her mouth, knowing better than to question what had just happened and she stood to follow Crowley away from the cafe.
“Well, where do you want to go in sunny Miami, my dear?” Crowley reached his arms out and spun around once.
Nina had always wanted to step foot into a warm ocean. The water in England and Ireland was never warm enough for swimming.. She could smell the salt and hear the waves. They had to be close to the water.
“The beach?” She said, her voice with a questioning tone, unsure if Crowley would entertain her, even though it was him who had asked what she wanted to do.
Crowley smiled. “The beach it is.” But she heard him mumble under his breath. “Even though I’ll get bloody sand in every orifice and under every scale.”
Nina followed him as they walked a few blocks to where the city opened up and the ocean expanded infinitely in front of them. It was crawling with people, thousands of them taking up nearly every inch of space on the beach. Nina frowned as she looked for a spot for them to sit down. She thought that she might have heard Crowley snap his fingers, and by some miracle she followed Crowley to two lawn-chairs near the water, devoid of any activity, giving them about nine square kilometres of space to spread out and enjoy the sun. To Nina’s surprise, under her blouse and skirt was a swimsuit, and not the underwear that she thought she had put on that morning.
“This is really quite nice,” Nina said as she basked in the Florida sun, “but, I am a bit put off by you switchin’ my knickers!”
Crowley peered over his Valentino’s at Nina as he lounged on the black towel in the sun. He had not bothered with sunscreen, and in fact, had snapped himself down to a jet black Speedo and proceeded to slather himself with olive oil.
“I don’t have the slightest idea wot you’re talkin’ about.” He laid back with a reflector baking his face looking very much like a 1970s model that had probably died from melanoma.
Nina rolled her eyes and hopped up out of the lawn chair. She walked along the beach, the bath-water warm robin's egg blue water lapped at her feet. She walked up and down the beach, digging her toes into the sand and kicking the waves until the tide came in and the water began to splash her knees. She looked out and saw that the blue sky had begun to gradually gain tinges of orange and pink. She walked out into the warm water until it lapped below her breasts, treading water with her arms as the waves bobbed her up and down with the tide. Her eyes stung, and it was not from the salt water. She had silently dreamt for years of a State-Side wedding with Lindsay. Now, that was never to be.
“Doin’ alright there, kid?” Crowley’s gravely voice made her jump as he appeared behind her.
She closed her eyes and allowed the tide to move her body with the water.
“Lindsay would have loved a wedding in these colours.”
Crowley hummed as he took in the beauty of the coral and bubble-gum sky as it met the cerulean water.
“Dunno, I always fancied black and white myself.”
Nina looked over and saw that Crowley’s eyes were again no longer shielded by his sunglasses. They looked sullen and full of the same longing that she was feeling. She reached over beneath the water and brushed her fingers over his hand. He grasped it and gave it a little shake, but did not pull his eyes away from the sunset in front of them. They stood there, bobbing together in the water until the last rays of sun disappeared beneath the waves leaving it the colour of ink. The city lights were too bright to properly see the stars in Miami, and Crowley knew it, so he did not bother looking into the cosmos before turning to Nina.
“How ‘bout we get a drink?”
Nina nodded. “Do you have a place in mind?” She had thought that he would have a hotel or condo already booked in Miami. He grinned at her and snapped his fingers. A wave of cool air rushed over Nina and a feeling of vertigo that she knew she would never get used to. She blinked, looked around, and blinked again. She looked down at herself to see that she was sitting in the Bentley, dry and fully clothed. Her skin still smelled like the sun and coconut sunscreen, but she was clean and refreshed. She pulled down the visor to look in the mirror and found that her hair was neatly in place and makeup exactly how she would have done it herself. Her head shot over the Crowley who was, of course, in the driver’s seat, grimacing at the slow drivers on the 95.
“You bloody need to start warning me before you do that!” She smacked him in the arm.
“Before I do wot?” He barked back, and the wave of hot vertigo moved through Nina again, and suddenly they were no longer in Miami. The Bentley’s tires screeched to a halt as they pulled into a miraculously open parking space off the busy street.
“Were you plannin on seein’ a show?” Nina said as she looked up at the marquee that read “The Aggie Theatre”.
She quickly followed him out of the Bentley and across the busy street between cars.
“Nope. I still have a terrible taste in my mouth from that subpar whisky in Florida. There is a little spot next door that will help wash the taste out of my mouth.” He stuck out his tongue and opened the door to a little pub called ‘The Whiskey’ spelled the American way. It was a small pub with a short bar and a few booths. Just as they walked in, two seats opened up at the bar directly in front of the line of Talisker varieties, and Nina knew why they were there. Crowley ordered a large Talisker Storm and the bartender poured it over ice and left the bottle on the bar.
Nina ordered a dirty gin martini and commented that it was the best that she’d had in a long while. Crowley smiles as they clinked their glasses together.
“Might I ask where we are?” She raised her eyebrows at Crowley after looking around fruitlessly for some hint at their location.
“The Rocky Mountains. Northern Colorado to be specific, near dead-middle-America. Folks here are a bit more reasonable than they are in the U.S. tropics.” He poured himself another glass, nearly emptying the bottle. He raised his finger and the bartender smiled sweetly. She brought him another bottle from under the bar and as she set it down Crowley grabbed her wrist. Nina gasped and watched with concern. If any regular person grabbed the arm of another person there would be a reaction, and likely not a pleasant one. It may even end up leading to police involvement, but Crowley was not a regular person… he was not a person at all… he was a demon.
“I like your tattoo.” He hissed as his eyes moved along the serpent that coiled around her arm up to a bright red apple that took up most of the front of her shoulder.
Her eyes were transfixed on the golden serpentine ones that bore into her, her face was lax as though she was under some sort of hypnosis.
Crowley continued. “Might I ask why that choicccceeee?”
Her black lips curled into a grin revealing a frenulum piercing that dangled down over her white teeth. Her smile looked menacing and out of place on her expressionless face.
“I am a big fan.” She whispered.
“Pray tell, why?” Crowley asked with genuine curiosity in his voice. The lights in the bar seemed to dim and the sound of voices silenced as the air around them grew dense.
“This fella here…” She ran her fingers down the snake on her arm, resting her hand on top of Crowley’s. “...he gave humanity the most precious gift of all. More precious than life itself. Free will… it is…”
“Ineffable.” Crowley smiled as he let go of her arm, releasing her from her hypnosis. She blinked and reached for Nina’s glass. The music started up again and the lights flickered back to their original brightness.
“Would you like another, love?” She asked sweetly, unaware of the demonic interaction that she had just experienced.
Nina was a bit shaken and stammered to answer, but thanked her and took another drink.
“That was… something, Crowley.” She said to him in a scolding tone.
“Wot? I was curious.” He took a sip of his drink.
“Enjoy flattery, do ya?” Nina said and bit down on her olive.
Crowley shrugged. He did, but that was not why he was curious this time. He was always a bit taken back when a human “got it”. He made a mental note about this one, he would have to come back to check on her int he future. He had a feeling about this one, and did not want her soul to end up in the “wrong” hands.
They finished their drinks, Crowley his second bottle of Talisker and Nina her third martini.
“Well, I s’pose it’s gettin’ late. Want to start headin’ back?” He sat up and swayed a bit on the bar stool.
“Oi, you aren’t fit to drive, young man.” Nina grinned, knowing full-well who she was talking to.
“I think we’ll manage.” Crowley grinned at her.
They walked out of the pub and back to the Bentley. Nina sat, and the moment Crowley’s door closed, the wave of vertigo came over her again. She blinked, and the scene outside of the windshield was no longer unfamiliar, in fact, it was very familiar. The Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death sign was above them, and she looked around to see that they were back on Whickber Street.
Her head snapped over to Crowley.
“Wot? I wasn’t about to drink and drive across state and national lines, and I didn’t feel like sobering up. The Bentley got us here no problem, didn’t ya’ old girl.” He patted the dash and Nina could have swore that the car purr happily.
She shook her head and jumped when her door suddenly opened. Wasn’t he sitting right next to her a moment ago? She got out and walked to the trunk, which was already open. She sighed and looked at her belongings, they were neatly packaged and placed in the trunk of the Bentley. Much more neatly than she remembered them being thrown in, but she didn’t give it much more thought than that. She looked at her coffee shop.
“I suppose I will throw everything in the store room and sleep behind the register.” She sighed.
Crowley placed a hand on her shoulder. “Why would you do that when you have a perfectly good flat above the shop?”
She tilted her head and furrowed her brow. “My shop doesn’t have a flat.”
Crowley patted her softly. “Sure it does, love. All the shops on this street have flats above them. Just like…” He looked behind them at A.Z. Fell & Co. as his voice trailed off.
“Here, let me help you.” Together they carried the boxes and bags of Nina’s possessions into the coffee shop and up the steps that she swore were not there this morning, into the flat that felt familiar, even though she swore that she had never seen it before. Her favourite dishes were already in the cupboards, and the only items and bags that they actually had to carry up were of her clothes and trinkets.
“I didn’t quite know where those things went, so I left the rest of the unpacking up to you.” Crowley whispered in her ear as he set down the box of exotic plants that he had brought with them from Columbia. She smiled as she looked around the place.
“I thought those were ‘a little something for you’”? She gestured toward the box.
“Wot? These things? Bah, I’ve got plenty. They make me feel better, so I thought… well… you might like to have somethin’ for your new place.”
Nina sat down on the bed, freshly made with black satin sheets that she did not know that she owned and surveyed the fashionable black settee. Crowley had an imagination, but when it came to home decor, it was limited. Nina gazed at Crowley who was standing in the doorway with his hands in his pockets glaring a warning at the plants.
She squeezed her eyes together and her shoulders heaved as she dropped her head into her hands on her lap.
Crowley grimaced and sauntered over to sit beside her, placing his hand on her back.
“I just don’t know how to thank you.” Nina sniffed into her hands. “All that you’ve done for me today. You are so ki…”
Crowely growled, interrupting before she could finish her sentence. “Twas nothin’... certainly not that four-letter-word, so don’t you dare even think it.”
He snapped his fingers and a tissue appeared in his hand that he handed to Nina.
“It was a good distraction, draggin’ you along.” He sniffed. “I see why the Angel loves you all so much, humans. Even though I don’t even like you.”
Nina rolled her eyes and sighed.
“You do.” She whispered.
Crowley smiled. “Well, I do rather enjoy taking humans to see all the kingdoms of the world.”
Nina sighed a small laugh. “If you call pubs and cafes ‘kingdoms’.”
“Food, drink, wot more does a kingdom need?”
Nina looked outside to see that the sun had started to rise, shining through the sheer, black curtains of her new home.
“I s’pose it’s about time to open the shop.” She sighed. No sooner that she spoke, her stomach rumbled. “Maybe I can call in a favour for Maggie to open for me…”
Crowley grinned. “It’s not like there are many folks buyin’ records over at her’s…”
Nina smiled softly. She knew that Maggie would do anything for her. They had talked about their feelings for each other for over a year now, but Nina was not ready and Maggie never wanted to go too fast for her. Now that she was no longer living with her former partner, maybe… well… asking for a favour would be a good place to start.
Crowley stood up and smoothed his waistcoat. “Wot do you say we have an extremely alcoholic breakfast at the Ritz?”
Nina nodded. “Let me just pop over and ask Maggie to open the shop for me.”
They made their way down the stairs and back out to the street. Crowley looked down at his feet as he stood next to the Bentley across from the bookshop, secretly wishing that it was possible to ask his Angel for a favour, or anything at all really. He sighed as Nina and Maggie walked together across the road back to the coffee shop.
Maggie beamed as she nearly skipped up to Crowley.
“Mr. Crowley! I am so glad that you’re here!”
Crowley scrunched his nose. “And why would that be, exactly?”
“Well, I was showing Muriel how to check the mail, the poor dear… and there was a letter addressed to you. It doesn’t say from who.” She held out a pristine white envelope with gold-leaf lettering and a golden pressed seal that depicted a flaming sword. Crowley’s mouth fell open slightly and he hesitated before taking the envelope from Maggie’s hand. He knew exactly who it was from.
Nina pressed her lips into a thin line and motioned for Maggie to follow her into the shop.
“I’ll be right back, just goin’ to show Maggie a few things before we go, yeah?”
Crowley nodded silently and climbed into the Bentley. He slithered down in the driver’s seat and rummaged through the glove box through his collection of extra sunglasses he kept there to find a letter opener. He used the sharp serpent-head blade to gentle tear open the envelope. WHen the paper tore, there was the unmistakable sound of a miracle that filled the Bentley. Crowley jumped and looked around, waiting for a hammer to come down and smite him, but nothing happened. He pulled the parchment from the envelope and held it to his nose. He knew what the Angel smelled like, and it smelled like him.
Crowley’s eyes grazed across the page at the delicate, gold script. He read the letter twice… three times… four times… maybe more… until his vision blurred and he was no longer able to see the letters. He pulled the page to his lips and pressed it to the words.
Breathing in the scent of the Angel… his Angel, he carefully folded the letter and placed it back into the envelope and put it in the glovebox of the Bentley. It was the only thing on Earth that was truly his, so it would be safe there. He took off his glasses long enough to press his fists to his eyes and wipe the moisture from his cheeks. He slipped on his glasses just in time for Nina to return to her place in the passenger seat.
“Ready, are ya?” She asked.
Crowley took a breath and turned to look at the bookshop, silent.
“Everythin’ alright?” She asked again.
A look fell over Crowley’s face that Nina had never seen before. She could not be sure, but if she had to venture a guess it would have been relief, happiness, peace, or a combination, but all good things that she did not expect to see on the face of a demon.
“Yea, he’s fine. We’re fine. It's all goin’ to be fine.” He breathed out a breath that he was unaware he was holding and the Bentley’s engine roared to life.
They made their way to the Ritz where a table for two miraculously became available, and along with his usual Irish coffee with extra shots of each, he ordered crepes, and he ate.
